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When called by the Washington reporter, she was resolved not to simply answer “no comment.” Not after 32 years.

“I’ve filled my life with a good husband, good children and a good life,” she said. They wondered about their chances of ever meeting their cousins.

(Sorry.) Thanks to a combination of unchecked biases and overt fetishizing, the dating world is a minefield for mixed race people.

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And, she announced, she’d decided to follow him to Washington, where he was starting a job as executive director of the NFL Players Association. “You change your name and you leave.” And that was the end.

After decades of silence, she’s not eager to share the family secret that has caused her so much anguish. Her father, Steve Buich, who ran Tadich’s back in the 60s, cut her out of the family the day in 1983 when she told her parents that she’d fallen in love with Raiders offensive lineman Gene Upshaw. That’s just how it was laid out.” “This is unacceptable,” she recalls her father telling her.

As a parent I don’t know how you get up every day and look at yourself.” On its web site, Tadich’s speaks proudly about exemplifying the San Francisco qualities of “tradition, longevity and honoring history.” But as this story has rolled through social media, local critics are questioning if, instead of honoring tradition, the Tadich owners are stuck in the insensitive, intolerant past.

The Yelp site has already lit up with angry reactions, calling out the Buich family.

Terri Upshaw says the bitterness from that controversy remains and she has not stayed in contact with the son, who now lives in Florida.

Until this story broke, Upshaw endured the sting of rejection from her San Francisco family in silence.

It is hard to believe in this day and age.” Although this is a operatic family tragedy, it’s also very much a San Francisco story.

Tadich’s isn’t a just a restaurant, it’s a power lunch institution. And at 166 years, Tadich’s is billed as the third oldest restaurant in the United States and the oldest in California.

I told them, ‘I hope you do, but you know how you were raised here.’ We’re 3,000 miles away and it will probably always remain that way.

I’m so blessed by all that I shared with Gene and I never regretted making the decision.” Not that she’s given up on San Francisco.

She can understand that her parents were dubious about the arrangement, moving cross country with a much older man — Gene was 38 at the time — and still married. She believes her father to be an unrepentant racist. You’re younger than he is.’ But the bottom line was ‘He is black.’ I had a good upbringing, learned a lot, but when it came to the color of someone’s skin, you didn’t question it.” Gene’s first wife, Jimmye Lee Hill-Upshaw, died in 2002, her skeletal remains found in a field in Oklahoma.