Guardian on line dating

It seems that the feeling of rejection and the emotional pain it causes is enough to fog rational thinking and actually reduce a person’s IQ, especially when it comes to short-term memory tasks and particularly decision-making.

An automatic reaction to rejection is to question yourself, take the pain and force it inwards, which results in your self-esteem and ultimately your confidence taking a knock.

The main factors come down to individual wants, rather than needs. More often than not a rejection is actually best for both people, so be happy you got away.Look at the things that wouldn’t have worked – was the chemistry really there? Aspects of their personal life that you have reservations about? Obviously don’t play the field, but with online dating it’s important not to put all of your effort, wishes, dreams, etc. It’s fine because you have another date lined up next week! Think about what you were doing this time last year – most people will struggle.Or perhaps your last foray into the world of online dating didn’t go so well and you’re scared, doubtful and anxious as hell. Being in the right headspace is now my number one tip for enjoying and being successful in online dating. One minute I had all this stuff going on in my head about why it wouldn’t work and the next I’d imagine meeting the love of my life.Keeping an open mind was vital because you know, if you think it’s going to be a disaster then you’re probably right!

And yes, I was both excited and feeling out of my comfort zone but that’s ok!

Yes, it’s been around for over a decade, but for various reasons, thousands of us are joining sites for the very first time every month.

So what lessons are there to be learned from a dating world which has moved online? The numbers game These days, at least in the early stages, dating is a numbers game. The very nature of dating websites means you can interact with several people at one time, so you should never assume someone is only talking to you.

into one date, especially if you haven’t even met the person. This simple exercise highlights that things will pass, you will forget about this and this pain will go away and you will be back on a new venture – such is life.

Allow yourself to cry into a pillow or shout at the TV, but put a limit on it and don’t allow yourself to get absorbed. Giving up after a rejection is the worst thing you can do.

That feeling (that replicates physical pain) will stay there and your apprehension of trying again will grow and grow until you have scared yourself out of jumping on the horse again.