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La Sbelle, if you were placed In the same position — If you stood In my shoes — what would you dor 1 "I'd blade them," said La Shells, with cool emphasis, "and then I'd go and sign with the other com- pany." A popular vaudeville performer tells the fol- lowing story, which be considers a joke on bla powers of attraction aa a lecturer. Performers address HENDERSON'S THEATRICAL AOENOY, Room 407, 97 So. /U^Ur ACTURCR~Or St Wv V canvasses OUR SPRING CATALOOUE Issued April 1, will contain a complete line ol goods lined by Street Hea, Carnival Men and o.nvaiitn. He waa one of several who donated their professional services for the entertainment of the pris- oners in a jail of one of the towns In which they played.

ills Impersonations have Invariably been well conceived, whether humorous, "straight" or character, aad hla art bas lifted many roles In which he has ap- peared to marked prom- inence. At U natural the week which will probably be recorded at the bot Uit of the year bas been the leaat active In the matter of theatrical bnalnett. This play will be produced at the New Theatre, aa the Haymarket Is under re- Salr, and the cast will consist of Cyril Maude, essle Bateman, Mrs. In this Henry Vlbart will resume hla original role of Dudley Mayne, and the cast will include also Eric Lewis and Robb Harwood, Dora Barton and Dolores Drommond. Otto Stuart and Oscar Asche have fixed upon Saturday, Sept. for the In- augural of their season at the Adelpbl with James B. Bprague) promise that the new playhouse will be ready for occu- pancy In March, then George Edwardes' mo- nopoly will be seriously challenged at very close quarters. His work sev- eral seasons ago, In sup- port of Otis Skinner, In "Franceses da Iilmlnl," will long bs remem- bered by tbote who admire the artistic In character Impersona- tions, and In support of Viola Allen, In "In the Palace of the King," he earned exceptional en- comiums from the press. At none of the half doien or so ot the Weatend theatres which remain open haa there been anything like a novelty presented, nor does It seem likely that any will be forthcoming much before the end of the month. 80, with a new farce, "Beauty and the Barge," In the authorship of which Louis Parker baa collaborated with W. Pagan's drama, "Tbe Frayer of the Sword" I hear that tbe Brothers Shnbert hare se- cured a twenty-one years' lease of tbe New Waldorf Theatre which B. Saunders Is building In Aldwych and, though they pro- pose devoting themselves In tbe first place to tbe cult of musical comedy, they will pro- vide London playgoers •with more serious fare If It seems wanted. Beerbobm Tree returned to London yes- terday morning and commenced rehearsals of "The Tempest," which he will produce at His Majesty's Theatre on Sept 24. We are very much pleased with our paper, which is In three colors and very at- tractive. After the short performance, which was apparently enjoyed by the Imprisoned audi- ence, the actor, with two or three other*, decided to go over the prison. Passing along one of the corridors he waa baited by a voice from of the cells, exclaiming : "Bay, Cully, that was a good turn you did —I used to do aa good as that myself." "Why I" exclaimed the actor, "were yon ever on the stage ! "Pahawl that Isn't enough for a man of your height," objected his brother. Another date fixed la that of the reopen- ing of the Bt James, wblcb la announced by George Alexander for Saturday, Sept 8, the production being an adaptation, by Syd- ney Grundy, of Justin Miles Forman'a rj mance, "The Garden of Lies." Quite early In September, too, will be tbe start of Ada Reeves' season at the Criterion, whence "The Duke of Kllllcrankle" la to more on to Wyndhatn's Theatre. The largest bell Is sixty inches long We will also have several other novelties." _ .

Prompted by another penny the machine raited the regletered weight to 100. " demanded Isidore, "I've gained two pounds while just standing here and If you'll get me a dollar's worth of pennies I'll promise to grow to 200 pounds, to keep you fellows from worrying— that Is, If my weight la all that's troubling you." t X » ■ WILLIAM MORRIS, The well known actor, whose picture appears on this psge, Is a player of exceptional versa- tility, and has shown more then the ordinary amount of cleverness In the portrayal of each and every role In which be has been caat. Miss Reeves' produc- tion will be Malcolm Wataon'a comedy, "Winnie Brooke, Widow," already tried by ber successfully In the provinces. " "Well, I had a good job with the circus 'till the boose got hold of me, and I went from bad to worse, when I landed here." After listening to the story of the man's downfall, the sympathetic vaudevllllan drew closer to the bars across ths door of the cell and delivered a few words of good advice, with which the cell inmate seemed to be greatly Impressed. Aa he waa about to de- part, the prisoned exclaimed : "Don't go yet, pardl Just give me a few more tips, will your' The actor, pleaaed with the reception of bis little lecture, and with the thought that hla advice might be some comfort to an ex- brother actor, followed It up with additional counsel. bla face, pressed against the oars and only a few Inches from that of the actor, listened attentively. "I can only repeat what I've already said," replied the actor, deeply flattered and hon- estly thankful that any word of his might do some little good. "Tell it all over again," exclaimed the prisoner pleadingly, "and come nearer so that I may not miss a word." After talking for a minute or two longer he noted that the man gave a algb of ap- parent contentment and satlafactloa, • "And now," he continued, "I've got to go, but I'm awfully glad that any words of mine have done yon any good, my friend, and " " 'T wasn't your words that did me good," interrupted the prisoner, " Twas your orrot A. (bo ocxrotlon lmtructa jou •Of f^ k, W to Conduct |i OJ lug cfitcrl.linnf tit.. stepped out to the entrance of the hall to get a breath or two of fresh air. Wertley) mourns tbe loss of her mother, who died ln Baltimore July 12. (or um with *""•"" MAKE MONEY B«Dd for free, llltiilralcl e.lnloguc, tell, wh.t *n outftt OQ^^WMt J, ..